"Welcome To Holland"

"Welcome To Holland", written by Emily Perl Kingsley, a writer for Sesame Street and the mother of a now-adult son with Down Syndrome
©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you never would have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice Holland has windmills and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

THIS IS MY HOLLAND
Dearest Friends;

This post is the best way I have found to explain what I have been feeling for almost a year. I know that Elliot has only been diagnosed for about 9 months, but ever since he was born I knew that something was different. He wasn't the same Italy that I had been to twice before. But I do want you to know that I learning to love Holland, I am starting to see the beautiful fields of Tulips, and I have found the beauty in watching the windmills. I have met many amazing people in Holland that I never would have other wise. I have found Heros that I want Elliot to look up to and emulate. I have learned how to deeply love without condition. I look at people in a new light. I have learned that each of us have our own battles that we will struggle with. This is what makes us the wonderful people that we are. If you read this and find yourself want to cry, don't feel bad, I am, have, and will continue too, but please feel embraced by knowing others are in Holland with you. We are never alone, just one kneel away and you will be embraced by someone who knows your heart. I love you all, and deeply appreciate all of your love you have shown towards me. We will hold on tight, and learn to love Holland together! We will be better Mothers, Fathers, Siblings, and Friends for it!
Much Love and Appreciation to you all,
your friend,
Alta